Self confidence

Self confidence

 Stack and Whack Quilt

This quilt was quite a challenge. The directions involved lining up repeats of fabric exactly one on top of another and then cutting them all up. The excitement was seeing the kaleidoscopic designs that were then revealed. Yet the work was not done; now I had to sew all those pieces back together. Yikes!

Building self-confidence is a lot like the process of making this quilt. There are many steps to the process and you don’t know the result until the end.self confidence2

One year I was working with a wonderful teacher who came into my office suffering from anxiety and depression. Mary felt her work was never good enough. She criticized herself for not developing more exciting lesson plans, not being more active in school activities and not offering more individual help to her students. The reality was that her classes were sought after by the students, we’re always full and she had been nominated for teacher of the year!


After many sessions challenging her thoughts about herself in cognitive behavioral therapy, I asked her why I had more confidence in her than she had in herself. “That’s easy to explain, “she said, “You are basing your confidence on facts.”  Amazing! The facts about her achievements were not enough for her. She wanted to know the outcome of her career before she finished it, we discovered. So we went back to the facts, lining them up exactly so she could see and feel them and begin to believe them. Then we had to sew them together to build a strong bond of self-confidence based on reality not fear.


Life is a journey and the final results are not revealed until the end. Be pleased with all the phases of your life and take pride in all your accomplishments. Believe In yourself and remember, it never hurts to believe in the facts!

I’m posting this entry at the beach so the picture was taken in Wildwood NJ.



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